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| Marcel Strigberger |
The San Francisco police department in an effort to prevent pedestrians from getting struck by motor vehicles recently posted a police officer in a colourful flamboyant bright chicken outfit at some busy intersections. The officer starts to cross at the crosswalk and if a motorist does not stop for him, he supposedly gets madder than a wet hen. He then signals to nearby colleagues who pursue and nab the rogue, issuing a fine of up to $400. That’s not chicken feed.
A police spokesperson notes that if you don’t see a giant chicken, then we really have a problem.
Though commendable in intent, would this gambit work in Canada? I doubt it. I easily see such a law being deemed ultra vires as violating our Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
For example, s. 9 of the Charter reads:
Everyone has the right not to be arbitrarily detained or imprisoned
In my view, being chased down and stopped by the police for failing to yield the road to a chicken is blatantly arbitrary. If Parliament expects unsuspecting motorists to do so, it would have to spell it out. In my many years of practice, I have never seen anything like a chicken caveat. It just wouldn’t fly.
And s. 10 reads,
Everyone has the right on arrest to detention:
a) to be informed promptly of the reasons therefor
I would say there is a serious risk of physical harm to the violator if the arresting officer says to the motorist, “Sir, do you know why I stopped you? Didn’t you see that chicken?”
Chances are the accused will break out in uncontrollable laughter, busting his spleen.
There would also be issues regarding penalties. Section 12 reads:
Everyone has the right not to be subjected to cruel and unusual treatment or punishment.
Being hit with a hefty fine like $400 is cruel punishment for zooming by Foghorn Leghorn. And it would certainly be unusual.
Don’t get me wrong. I do have grave concerns about pedestrian safe crossings. I believe the authorities should do everything in their power to prevent crossing jungles where pedestrians routinely take their lives into their hands, they have to have eyes in the back of their heads to endure the Wild West of a tsunami of loony motorists. But let’s not talk about my hometown, Montreal.
I did some research on chickens and crosswalks consulting the guru of all knowledge. The result was not too helpful. I was directed to a site that asked me, “What do you get when you cross a chicken with a walkie-talkie?” That’s the last time I’m consulting Siri.
It also occurred to me that anybody ticketed in San Francisco might have a defence of entrapment. But for the police crossing as a chicken, would the motorist have buzzed by? This ploy certainly takes undercover police work to a new dimension. The guy probably comes home after a day’s work and his spouse asks how his day went. He has to be discreet. “Honey I can’t tell you. And by the way what’s for dinner? Please don’t say wings.”
Actually, in addition to a chicken costume, at some intersections, the officers wore other costumes such as a unicorn or Sesame Street’s Big Bird. Maybe these or others might be more effective. What would stop me in my tracks would be an officer dressed like a large roll of Parmesan cheese. I think this product has the vilest scent. Maybe the police can try it here. I would say anybody failing to yield to a large roll of Parmesan is nuts and does not deserve the protection of the Charter.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe, is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X: @MarcelsHumour.
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