Lessons outside the classroom as a Fulbright scholar | Mubarik Khan

Law360 Canada (August 20, 2024, 1:18 PM EDT) --

Mubarik Khan

Sometimes getting what you want is the easier part and navigating the reality of your materialized dreams is the more challenging task. My Fulbright experience was a similar feat in my life. In retrospect, especially seven years later, it was one of the best years of my life. However, the word “best” encapsulates a multitude of emotions and is perhaps a very broad-brush response.

On closer examination, I would brand the experience as, firstly, “pivotal” since the experience of pursuing a master’s degree in the U.S.A. was pivotal in shaping me into the resilient person I am today. Starting from the gateway orientation conference and going forward, the influx of information, the varied instructions on how to conduct yourself in a new country coupled with the realization of the immense opportunity to pursue a master’s degree as a prestigious Fulbright Scholar at an Ivy League university in New York was, at the start, quite a disorienting for me. Much like food serving sizes in the U.S.A., the experience was also upsized. There were limited credits and funds competing against multiple courses and social activities to choose from. Like an old radio I kept tuning until I found the right frequency and with it the ability to identify my priorities and then run with those decisions without looking back all the while enjoying the beat of the music.

Secondly, the experience was “grounding.” It is easy to excel and win a game when you know the game and the playbook but much harder to find one’s way while rattling along the board with the dice rolling to a new number each day. After 15 years of being in a single-nationality classroom, I found myself in a truly global cohort with class fellows from all over the world. Funnily enough, the groupings that formed were fungible at best. While everyone came together at social events, amidst all their differences, people stuck with each other based on where they were from. I had just one other person from back home, so it was not so simple for me. After much internalization of thoughts and feelings centring around the thought “Maybe it's just me and no one likes me,” I found people at the periphery in a similar conundrum. The people in the centre who are loud and present make the friend-making process look easy and welcoming — much like Times Square. For people who are similar, perhaps, it’s a simple jump to blend into the crowd. That was not the case for me. I struggled to fit in the popular crowd before stepping out of the noise to experience the Central Park air and running into the early morning joggers and bird watchers. Since my self-diagnosis of being photosensitive to flashing lights at Times Square, I have felt less lost in new places and amongst new people and this has been a grounding and freeing lesson.

Lastly, through the Fulbright experience, I found my “community.” For many years I struggled to find people with a drive and passion that aligned with mine. At the law firm where I worked, I saw associate turnover at a remarkable rate. Similarly, my friends settled into cushy work-life balance positions while others chose marital bliss. I am respectful and supportive of everyone’s personal choices. My qualm was only to find a running mate to bounce ideas with and to have a cheerleader on the bumpy road. My Fulbright cohort, having gone through a similar selection process, brought together similar driven personalities. Amongst these incredibly capable people I found “my kind of crazy,” and I have never looked back.  

In sum, the lesson is to go into the world quietly with all the feelings and to balance self-doubt with determination, frustration with resilience and, above all, setbacks with kindness and understanding towards yourself. In my experience, if a person can outline a framework for themselves and continue to work within that framework, knowing well that each day will bring a varying degree of productivity and that you cannot operate at 100 per cent potential each day, the world is truly your oyster.

Mubarik Khan is a practising projects and infrastructure lawyer in Toronto. She has experience practising and studying law in multiple jurisdictions and is a Fulbright Scholar.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not reflect the views of the author’s firm, its clients, Law360 Canada, LexisNexis Canada or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.

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